The Sinners' Circle


On the night of the Lamma Dragons Seven Deadly Sins party, the teams raised almost $20,000 HKD for the club. Funds are critical to keeping the team racing, particularly at the Stanley Festival in June. Race organizers charge almost $10,000 per team for entry alone. Rental for a tarp/space on the beach and a spot to moor a junk cost a few thousand more. How fantastic then that we are all immeasurably wealthy!

One of our best fund-raisers for the evening was the auction of Harry Harrison's generously donated, super-duper original Lamma Dragons cartoon. Auctioneer, Paul Freak-man Davis very nearly outbid the audience. Eventually, Claudia (Prideful) Tarr dragged it from his stinking claws for $3,100. Thanks Harry, Claudia and Paul for your generosity, greed and envy!


Featuring gay pride (trannies Jo and George), fuzzy lion pride (Karen) and Sloth (the Beast! Ms Dawn).

Becky looks perfectly sinful here, but Elo appears far too sweet to be at a sin party. Apparently, she was going to dress as lust, but David kept interfering with her as she tried to leave the house.

Wrathful Andrew clutching his lustful, slothful mizzez.

Tina and Gina appear to be practicing the sins of fashion violence. Or Gina is in drag. Sometimes it's hard to tell...

Envy Li, and two multi-sinners, Becky and Michelle (who has legs up to her neck).


Tran-tastic Georgie.

Gluttony, envy, "would-be-lust" and "real" lust. Laura, Christine, Elo and Vicky (they call her "vixen" for a reason) line up. Special note: Laura has been warned that the nipple shirt will not help her find a hot, new man. Perverts maybe; not new men - no.


The Lamma Dragon men - just before they go home and put on their costumes.


Sleazy - lustful Arja - the Finn.

Bad Blonds.

Mad Max - please don't ask, since we haven't a clue...

Pride #1
Pride #2
Pride #3 (the Disney version)


Lust/wrath Sharon - mysterious middleman- and Jo Sveedish as Avarice.
Now that is avarice: Liesbeth



Franco-Finnish sin-stokers

The seven deadly sins...

silver belles

Some nine or ten days has gone by since the Lamma Ladies were chastised for their vulgar ways in the public http://www.lamma.com.hk/ forum.

Since then, there has been some confusion over the activities of the Lamma Ladies, as we have been away racing (as we are wont to do), and lammaladies-spotters have mistaken the fishermen's night training for the usual riotous Pink Ladies. Nkarraker mourned what he/she believed was a silent Lamma ladies crew:

Well, you all have done it now. We were eating in one of the seaview restaurants tonight after dark and on the horizon we saw a dragonboat with its tiny lights coming into the harbor, I am certain, from another part of the South China Sea. In utter silence. No boom, boom, boom. No big tamasha. No shouting, shouting. No intricate rhythms on the drum. Like so many faceless seagoers paddling on a quiet communal rowing machine. I hope you are happy now.
We would hasten to assure Mr/Ms Nkarraker that nothing shuts the Lamma Ladies up.

Those were, in fact, the Lamma Fishermen, who - we are delighted to say - won a spectacular traditional fishermen's race in Cheung Chau on Sunday, April 29th! Those fishermen's boats are FAST! So the Yung Shue Wan, Lamma North Fishermen were superfast! And victorious. And Fantastic. And did we mention that they are the greatest?

Back to the Lamma Ladies:

We are pleased to announce that the Beast Master (known to laymen as the "drummer"), has taken on a new nick-name: Big Tamasha.

She seems to like it.

In racing news, the Pink Ladies attended their first race of the season in Shatin on Sunday, April 21. There is nothing quite like getting up at 6am to catch the 6:40 ferry to Shatin on a Sunday, then waiting for several hours between 1-minute races (our average time was 55 seconds over 200 meters). However, the day can be summed up by this photo:


How time just flies between those races.

And did we mention the toilets? There were FOUR porta-potties available for some 600 people. What can we tell you about that? We can tell you that it was revolting. Anyone who doubts the Lamma Ladies dedication to their sport has NEVER had to use a porta-potty that has served 600 athletes over an 8-hour period. Gas masks may have helped, but we are dubious that even that would have been enough.

Note to race providers. Get more bloody toilets next time!

As for the races: the Lamma Lovelies were split into two boats for the 200-meter Shatin drag race. In the following photo, our A-team boat is racing against four other crews for the final event.
After a blistering start, the Lamma Ladies pushed on to win a silver medal in their first event. It was, in fact, an excellent start to the season, although some of us were a little sniffy that we hadn't won the gold.

Well that is just hubris, and the Lamma Ladies would hate to be guilty of unwarranted pride. In any case, we are very happy to say that our second-place medals give us greater incentive to make Big Tamashas in the harbour, scream louder, and paddler harder!


Above are five tired boats at the finish line. We are the pink boat, in case there is any doubt.

And here we are, making faces and cheering over our fist silver medal of the season! Two of us are drinking wine in this photo. For purposes of fairness and anonymity, we cannot identify Georgie, in the pink tights and blue hat, or Michelle, in the black dress and fashionable white sneakers as the wine drinkers. But if we could, we would say that was them.

Drinking wine.... On the podium.... Shocking.

(The rest of us hid our beer cans behind our backs).

On Sunday, April 29th, the Lamma Ladies were invited to a traditional colour boat race in Cheung Chau. This is the same race that the Fishermen attended and won (we mentioned that, right?).

Again the Lamma Ladies took a silver medal, though we had never raced in colour boats before.

This is what we have to say about colour boats:

  • They are about 20 feet long.
  • They are about 1-foot deep.
  • They are evidently designed for women who weigh less that 40kgs.

We are afraid to say that although the Lamma Ladies may be working on "perfect asses," we have never stipulated that they be perfectly tiny asses.

And so, with each stroke from our magnificent arms, our boats would lunge across the water like demented, drunken beasts; skittering sideways and throwing up bow waves that could have sunk barges, and generally foiling our best efforts to glide across the water in graceful unison.

What the hell: we lunged our way across the finish line, picked up our two trophies (two boats won trophies!), and then ran off to eat shellfish and race sampans back to Lamma, with lots of "shouting shouting" along the way.

See us at our next race: THE TIN HAU FESTIVAL - in Yung Shue Wan, Lamma Island, on May 9!

There will be only decorous 'shouting shouting' at Tin Hau, since we have tremendous respect for our local race to this benevolent goddess of the sea.

Not even the Lamma Ladies mess with the sea gods. That's just stupid.

"Enticing lustful (sic) opiatics" and our "tight, dampened shorts"

It is with overwhelming shame that we, the Lamma Ladies have recently learned that our outrageous, immoral behaviour is offending the sensibilities of the more principled members of Lamma society.

In a recent photo essay on http://www.lamma.com.hk/, Lamma-gung posted some snaps of the Lamma Ladies getting ready to begin a training session on Saturday, April 14th, 4:30pm-6pm .

(Readers: You may want to consult you diaries, in case you noted any disturbance to your public-decency barometers during that period.)

According to the forum on Lamma.com, the loud, violent drumming and the "Too much of shouting shouting," was particularly loathsome to some of the more morally upstanding denizens of the Lamma community.

In addition to our "too much of shouting shouting..." the Lamma Ladies harridans have been urged to stop this disgraceful exercising in public and do what proper ladies, of exemplary dignity have done for centuries: stay home.

"Maybe machine for rowing is better," opines one gentleman.

"The ladies dancing on tables after consuming alcohol, and it is not suitable for these ladies to behave in such a manner. Too much of excitement . Staying home is better and having [home rowing] machine will give the exercise," he concludes.

We are delighted that exercise remains on the agenda, what, with all the jackboot polishing we will likely be doing (as befits proper, dignified ladies) we'll need to keep up our strength.

Our greatest shame came from the febrile pen of one Mr/Ms tjungarayi who wrote:
Not only (do the Lamma Ladies harridans have) loose morals but they look they are all on drugs.
Steroids that is! Just look at the shoulders and forearms on some of those... .em... 'ladies'. Popeye, eat your heart out! [Editor's note: Popeye was a pussy wuss, as are all men who are perplexed by muscular women.]

At last the voice of the moral stalwart can be heard among those in this forum. Bring back the morals of queen Victoria, the quiet dignified ladies and gentlemen of yesteryear.

Get rid of the smut and scantily clad women in pink lycra swim wear. Enough of the grunting echoes in Yung Shu Wan.

These women should be setting an example to the young ladies on the island not parading about in tight dampened shorts riding up their suntanned thighs. What effect will thse women have on the young men on the island I ask?

They will lead young men into the ways of wickedness and depravation. Enticing
lustful opiatic like sodden dreams on warm balmy nights.
Blinding our young men
to upright meaningful Protestant occupation. Alas what has this island come to. (?)
Well, quite apart from the atrocious punctuation, this certainly put us in our place!

If we had known that parading around Lamma, with our "tight dampened shorts riding up our suntanned thighs" would lead to "enticing lustful opiatic like sodden dreams on warm balmy nights," well - we'd never wear anything else!

We do, however, apologize for the "sodden dreams."

Perhaps some "Young Men" on Lamma should consider rubber sheets? Nocturnal emissions are nothing to be ashamed of, certainly, but they do make your bedding a little funky after a time.

In conclusion, the Lamma Ladies (reborn, harridans no more!) would like to offer our since apologies to those people we've offended with our crass, unfeminine behaviour. Should you care to discuss the matter with us at a future date, please drop by after a training session.

We'll be a little tired, but we'll still be happy to kick your sorry, whinging asses.

when the sun shines out of Claudia's armpits


Ah yes, now we remember where the Lamma Ladies got their reputation for aggravatingly laid-back behaviour!
Behold: two natural brunettes and four suspiciously sun-shiney blonds. Please note: they drinks were consumed after a practice.
And yes: the sun does shine out of Claudia's arm-pits. Sometimes it shines out of the Beast Master's butt. Sometimes.
Georgie: butt blisters are no excuse for this shocking display. Put your pants on! (Nice legs!)

Introducing: the Perfect Ass awards!

Now that the Lamma Ladies have put down the Doritos, we've started our usual exercise routine of beer-chugging (those steins are heavy!) and occasionally getting off the sofa to change the channel. (okay, we lost the remote).

There are a few mad individuals who have embraced the hillsides of Lamma, and decided that running up and down them, over and over and over again, might aid in their performance in the dragon boats.

For these brave and hardy individuals, we hereby announce the "perfect ass" competition.

Here is a photo that our fellow web-izens have deemed a perfect ass:


Please note: this is NOT a Lamma Color-coded approved ass, it is merely a "perfect ass" representation, as denoted by our worldly peers (online, not in real life).

Cheeky number, isn't she? (We have no idea what period of the 1980s this photo comes from, but that is neither here nor there.)

There are, of course, different kinds of "perfect asses." Therefore, at the end of the season, we intend to judge both the Lamma Dragon men (who are running hills as well) and the Lamma Ladies for "perfect ass-ness." Awards will be handed out at the end of season.

So we urge you: get out there and sculpt yourself a perfect ass. Or just be one. Either works for us.

Happy International Lamma Ladies' (Women's) day

From the 2006 season, but one of our favourites!
Lamma Ladies win Stanley.

putting the 'fun' back into fundraising


Every team has its own way of raising money for race fees, new team shirts and gear, and the occasional travel subsidy. The Lamma Ladies - we are proud to say - have taken fund-raising to a whole other level.
And so it was that on March 3rd, at 7:30pm in an undisclosed location (Thanks Claudia!) 35 women gathered in their Sunday best (Elvira-red lipstick, plunging necklines, heels) to drink a variety of sinful pink cocktails and listen - with respectful attention - to a brief, yet informative, lecture on human sexuality.
Then we all played with the sex gadgets that our human sexuality expert / sexologist brought along for our shopping interest. (Imagine: sex and shopping. A winning combination!)
I cannot imagine why a photographer showed up at the undisclosed location in hopes of making a quick documentary. Alas, we shooed him away, as we are very prudish and shy.

Note: By "play" with the sex toys on display, we do not mean that any items were in "use". We simply compared and contrasted the various goods, lotions, potions and assorted doodads on display.

OK - fair enough - one lady wore one of the items. No, it wasn't the "nipple jewelry." (Many of us are still grateful for the latter escape from TMI and visual overload).

So yeah, just when you thought it was safe to be a Lamma Lady again, having nearly forgotten our brush with S&M fame from this episode or even this previous entry, it turns out that we are just as pervy as we ever were.
Big thanks to Mel for her fantastic arrangements and abundant cleavage, and to Heather at New Sensations for her impressive, positive and fun presentation.
And thank you Lamma Ladies, for your continuing support of the team. It was - surprise, surprise - a very successful fundraising event. One warning, however; if you are not in the boat in 2 weeks (after your New Sensations products are delivered), we will be staging home interventions. Please do not be wearing the "jewelry" if we need to come and find you. Please.
In other news: training is fantastic! Full boats, enthusiastic paddlers, and all the jellyfish a gang of gals could wish for, floating just inches from our fingertips. Really, can you think of anything better?

We want you in 2007!

As happy as we are to trumpet our success in the 2006 season, there comes a time when we need to state the truth:

We need new paddlers!

As with most dragon boat clubs in Hong Kong, the Lamma Ladies lose paddlers each and every year to horrible things like pregnancy, relocation, and - very occasionally - the demands of what some people call "real life". (Though some of us are unfamiliar with this term, others insist that it does, in fact, exist; along with "good salary" and "men who clean bathrooms").

In any case, each year, the Lamma Ladies are delighted to take on a new crop of members, and we always wish to assure our new paddlers that nobody is an uber-paddler in the beginning. We do not have expectations of fitness; nor is experience necessary (in fact, lack of experience is often better!).

All we require is some new cool chicks, willing to hit the water, come to training and get ready to work and have a fantastic time in equal proportions. It helps if you can hold your liquor, but even that is not a prerequisite.

So join the Lamma Ladies today! Everyone begins in the same place: sat on a creaky, wooden seat, with the threat of splinters encroaching on your bum, and a big old scratchy paddle in your hand. What could be better?

For more information, please contact Gina at lamma_gina@yahoo.com.hk
She has no life, so she'll get back to you lickety-split.

Lamma Ladies Recruiting for 2007!!!

Join the Lamma Ladies for the 2007 Season and get Powerful,Passionate and - oh so very pretty.

The girliest-looking, toughest talking, meanest paddling crew of Ladies will hit the water on January 26-27 for introductory sessions for the new season. Join us on January 21 - Sunday - at 3pm in the Island Bar to learn more and sign up for a season of tough training and brilliant fun.


The Lamma Ladies will travel to Boracay again in 2007, to defend their gold medal. In addition, we are hosting the first Lamma Dragon Boat Festival on June 10th.

Lamma Ladies Dragon Boating: less fattening than chocolate, tan lines to die for, and all the pink you could ever imagine.

For more information, contact lamma_gina@yahoo.com.hk

Three Gold Cups: One FANTASTIC TEAM



The Lamma Ladies Top Deck "Deck-odent Dragons" had a stellar year.

To begin: our SILVER MEDAL from Shatin after 2 weeks' training!
Race Two: The Deepwater Bay Regatta where we were slamming in the heats, and unfortunately, also "slamming" in the final - for Bronze!

then...

BORACAY: GOLD!

CHEUNG CHAU: GOLD

STANLEY: GOLD!




Spectacular team work, dedication from every single member of the Lamma Ladies and a fantastic ability to OUT PINK, OUT PADDLE and OUT PARTY made 2006 one of our best years one record.

Congratulations Lamma! And mountains of Pink Love.

xxxxx (them's kisses, by the way)
- Lamma Gina



Christina is on her honeymoon - again!



Trophy's for the Lamma Men - Hooray!




Amy and Ivan: the super-power team that keep us afloat!




Kevin and Karen: Alliterative and disturbingly cute




Gina's grin, splitting her face (cup borrowed from Christina's honeymoon with special permission).



CHEUNG CHAU:




The Cheung Chau Gold Cup: So exciting we peed our pants!



Katie says, "I don't think I have Peter Berry rash... yet."



Boracay Body Condoms make a second appearance!



Christina - at the barre (not the bar... that comes later).



Lamma Ladies, official team coconut casings

Thank you very much!



The Lamma Ladies - as many have guessed - are very shy. We don't like to boast, or announce our winnings, or engage in any unladylike behaviour of that nature.

Which is why we would like to say "THANK YOU" to Top Deck at the Jumbo for announcing our GOLD MEDALS and FIRST-PLACE CUP that we won at the International Races in Boracay over the May 12-14 weekend!


It's so nice to have someone brag about us on our behalf.

Typhoon Madness while the Dragon Entered

YES, THAT IS THE WRONG COLOUR! Put down the knife Finn, she's one of ours!





Happy Birthday dear KIM! Happy Boracay-Birthday to you!



As you can see, we were definitely challenged by the gorgeous locals. In fact, we huddled in a tent to save ourselves from comparison. Okay, we didn't - but shit they are amazing.



Wait, wait - we cannot take anymore. You guys are too hot. Come to Hong Kong! COME TO HONG KONG!




Yes, they are all wearing gold medals (that would be the WINNER'S medals to the layman).
Yes, they OUT-PINKED, OUT-PADDLED and are about to OUT-PARTY the ass out of this island.
Yes, this dress is a man-made fabric.




On the cat to Boracay. No, not a kitty-cat. Don't be daft.



Behind that sweet exterior beats the heart of a paddler-killer. Watch your ass.



She's Finnish. Ask Orville.



Body condoms, brought to you by our weekend typhoon. One of these people isn't sober.



Vat? Zees eez not Brazil! Sheet! Now I have to teach zees pinkies how to party!



Yes. We are famous. What do you see? PINK (on the right. Duh). What did we do all weekend? Out-Pinked, Out-PADDLED and Out-Partied (well, the SeaGods beat us on partying one night...)



Isn't she lovely? And a kick-ass paddler, swimmer, runner....



All subject to the regulated colour-scheme. Manila approved.



Ralph Lauren-approved matching wardrobes. No - really - they are lovely. So co-ordinated! So Pink!



That isn't the Playboy mansion! Ha! You got me!



And when I am crowned queen, the language of Brazil will be Pinklish.



It seemed like a good idea at the time. Can we go home now? Where is that dance party?



I am just getting warmed up. In two hours, my eye-lashes will be even longer.



5 years of secretarial school and all i got was the leading role in that S&M movie about... a secretary. Love the hair.



You only think your boobs are bigger than mine. Look. LOOK!!!




It doesn't get any better than this. LAMMA IN BORACAY 2006.