"Enticing lustful (sic) opiatics" and our "tight, dampened shorts"

It is with overwhelming shame that we, the Lamma Ladies have recently learned that our outrageous, immoral behaviour is offending the sensibilities of the more principled members of Lamma society.

In a recent photo essay on http://www.lamma.com.hk/, Lamma-gung posted some snaps of the Lamma Ladies getting ready to begin a training session on Saturday, April 14th, 4:30pm-6pm .

(Readers: You may want to consult you diaries, in case you noted any disturbance to your public-decency barometers during that period.)

According to the forum on Lamma.com, the loud, violent drumming and the "Too much of shouting shouting," was particularly loathsome to some of the more morally upstanding denizens of the Lamma community.

In addition to our "too much of shouting shouting..." the Lamma Ladies harridans have been urged to stop this disgraceful exercising in public and do what proper ladies, of exemplary dignity have done for centuries: stay home.

"Maybe machine for rowing is better," opines one gentleman.

"The ladies dancing on tables after consuming alcohol, and it is not suitable for these ladies to behave in such a manner. Too much of excitement . Staying home is better and having [home rowing] machine will give the exercise," he concludes.

We are delighted that exercise remains on the agenda, what, with all the jackboot polishing we will likely be doing (as befits proper, dignified ladies) we'll need to keep up our strength.

Our greatest shame came from the febrile pen of one Mr/Ms tjungarayi who wrote:

Not only (do the Lamma Ladies harridans have) loose morals but they look they are all on drugs.
Steroids that is! Just look at the shoulders and forearms on some of those... .em... 'ladies'. Popeye, eat your heart out! [Editor's note: Popeye was a pussy wuss, as are all men who are perplexed by muscular women.]

At last the voice of the moral stalwart can be heard among those in this forum. Bring back the morals of queen Victoria, the quiet dignified ladies and gentlemen of yesteryear.

Get rid of the smut and scantily clad women in pink lycra swim wear. Enough of the grunting echoes in Yung Shu Wan.

These women should be setting an example to the young ladies on the island not parading about in tight dampened shorts riding up their suntanned thighs. What effect will thse women have on the young men on the island I ask?

They will lead young men into the ways of wickedness and depravation. Enticing
lustful opiatic like sodden dreams on warm balmy nights. Blinding our young men
to upright meaningful Protestant occupation. Alas what has this island come to. (?)

Well, quite apart from the atrocious punctuation, this certainly put us in our place!

If we had known that parading around Lamma, with our "tight dampened shorts riding up our suntanned thighs" would lead to "enticing lustful opiatic like sodden dreams on warm balmy nights," well - we'd never wear anything else!

We do, however, apologize for the "sodden dreams."

Perhaps some "Young Men" on Lamma should consider rubber sheets? Nocturnal emissions are nothing to be ashamed of, certainly, but they do make your bedding a little funky after a time.

In conclusion, the Lamma Ladies (reborn, harridans no more!) would like to offer our since apologies to those people we've offended with our crass, unfeminine behaviour. Should you care to discuss the matter with us at a future date, please drop by after a training session.

We'll be a little tired, but we'll still be happy to kick your sorry, whinging asses.