mystery ipod winner found!

Lamma Bar Queen (and Dragon) Sharon and the ipod winner "D Barlow"

Yes, Dan Barlow was located as the winner of the Bollywood Bling ipod, and I can honestly say that a few tears were shed by some of the Lamma Ladies who were obviously pining for the new gadget.

The ticket was sold by Ellie - which just goes to show that we are not nearly as corrupt as we would like to be.

Excellent work in the boats this weekend ladies. Dawn's no-pity performance was exceptional and more than a few of the ladies limped away to seek hot showers and panadol after Sunday's long peices. Keep snapping those chicken wings over your heads and punching forward ladies; your muscles will thank you later.
Some of our new members also decided to hit the hills for cross training on Sunday morning. Brownie points go to Laura and Katie for their uncannily cheerful cross-country run - and of course to Kim, who had to go home and do dreaded paperwork for the day. (We missed you Kim!).

Our first race is looming on March 12, and we expect to have our banana-beast boat up and running by the coming weekend.
No exceptions girls: everyone in the boats this weekend! We'll be formulating our race crew ideas and in dragon boating, absence (alas) won't make heart grow fonder, stronger, or make your reach longer.

Once again: well done! Practices were not easy this weekend and everyone paddling made an excellent effort. Keep those muscles warm, get massages if you have time and be kind to yourselves.

Final reminder: for those who wish to do some running, the ladies are cross training on the weekends at 8 or 8:30 for trail runs. The hills are beautiful in the morning, and whether you're a beginner or a running veteran, there is time and space for everyone.

Have a brilliant week.

back to boogey in BORACAY

Sun, crystal water and the most pinktastic hosts ever! The Lamma Ladies are headed back to Boracay and already the girls are jumping up and down with excitement.

Invitations were posted today, and we are delighted at the kind shout out from the organizers to the Lamma's finest ambassadors (need we say Hong Kong's Finest? I don't think we do!).

From the Organization Queen Abby:

Ola and greetings from the white sands of boracay!

Dear Friends,

1st of all i would like to thank you for coming to last year's dragon run hosted in Boracay Island. Being it our 1st international competition your participation was more than welcome. your support no doubt was critical to its success :) thank you!

The race has also been a learning experience for us organizers here in the philippines and hope this year we can better the experience :)

We hope you will again honor us with your company this may 11-13 2006. attached is an ivitation to this years race and travel details.

The beach is calling and we would love it if you can join us! We've got more teams on board! New boats all 8 of them! and even crazier parties in store for you!

pls feel free to contact me if you have any questions. see you at the beach!

happy paddling!

PS: special mention to the LAMMA LADIES who have made the event an even more colorful experience for us all :) cheers to the pretty ladies in pink! and hope to see all of you at the beach!

Pinks prepare to party. Only one sun chaise was killed in preparation for this closing-night party

Yes - they are ALL gorgeous; Yes - we loved them

Opening night ceremony

They didn't need any help, but we like to think we influenced the colour scheme a little

Who's that in the lead?!

So get yourselves together ladies. May 11-13 (Thursday to Saturday, with Sunday return.

Out PINK, Out PADDLE, Out PARTY in Boracay 2006!


Lamma's international women of mystery were all out in Bollywood Bling finest on Saturday night for their fundraiser for the so-PINK, so-POWERFUL and so-Pickled ladies dragon boat team.

Party photos courtesy of the woman we think is Karen, on the left. Arja, last seen collapsed on the tender hills of Lamma (here) has reappeared as Finland's finest export - and yes, we count the vodka too.

Dragonettes: Anna, Li, Karen and Michelle

Selling Deli-Lamma samosa goodness was not enough for the bolly-dancing twin-set. Jo-Jo Dancer and Tina (R&B) jingled through the streets of Yung Shue Wan and somehow those coins around their hips magically multiplied: to the tune of $1,000 worth of jingling. And who said belly dancing wasn't a worthy pursuit?

Yes she squints in photos. No, she's not Shannon Doherty's evil twin. Yes that is a reference to the original cast of 90210. No, I am not apologizing.

There was no answer as to why the chromosone-challenged MCs asked only the BLOND paddlers to enter the kinder-egg contest. We do know Claudia should have mashed kinder-egg goop up their noses though.

She looks so friendly. Who would guess she's the evil queen of the beasts? Have you ever been thumped with a dragon boat drum stick? Don't mess around. Really - this is your first and last warning. Note the appropriate use of the colour chart.

He's no lamma lady. Great Bindi-action however.

For those foolish or directionally-confused enough to miss the great Bollywood Bling Party, well let us just say: you missed some wicked-good prizes.

The official first prize, the Ipod Nano, was sold by MAZZO.
Mazzo, please identify yourself at the information counter: we don't know who you sold the ticket to, and that Ipod Nano is looking might-ee fine to some less scrupulous dragonettes today!

Well, the official first prize, as we said will presumably be a hit whenever we locate the winner.

Trumping that particular bit of machinery, however, was a rather special device designed, patent-owned and operated by one of Lamma's imported sons. Jon Buford very kindly offered to donate one of the first of his Happy Kitty vibrators to the our Bollywood Bling fund raiser. (Do not read the link while at the office. I repeat: Do not read the link at the office.)

What you see here, is a photo of the recipient Ms SP (who shall remain unnamed in the event family members look her up online and discover this to be the lead reference to Ms. SP, thereby disinheriting her from her rightfully-owed 10,000 acres.) cheerfully accepting her prize the day after the Bollywood Bash.

Here is Ms SP's good friend, rather surprised by the directions on the back of the specially-designed certificate that promises full delivery of the Happy Kitty, as well as a 10-year warranty and a package of cleaning wipes.

Some of the previous sentence is not made up.

So with all this Bollywood goodness - is it any surprise that the Lamma Ladies made approximately $10,000 at their fund raiser. And with creative minds like Jon Buford, our incessant references to bosoms and paddles, is it any wonder we're developing a complex about our sexuality?

Out Pink, Out Paddle, Out Party.

The perfect boob flash and the ghost of Georgia O'Keeffe

Oh yes - the paparazzi caught us out. Thanks to we have evidence of a spectacular turn-out this weekend in YSW Harbour. The sun was sunny, the water was wet, the jellyfish had the decency to stay away and we currently have a total of 31 ladies on the water (the numbers keep growing). Spectacular turnout and a fantastic effort from new paddlers and our doyennes (c'mon, you know you love that word... much better than "oldsters"!).

Now for the best part: if you click on the photos above, you will see Kim Dragon (front left paddler in the boat in the back of the photos), exhibiting fantastic shoulder rotation for maximum breast flashing! Look at her boobs! (yeah... they're covered up, but so what). You know this is why the men are pushing for a mixed boat this year. Hurrah for Kim! Study that form ladies: this is the rotation we are looking for!

Now for the announcement of SHAME!

I've had word from Katrina Dragon that she was assaulted by a vat of Heineken on Saturday night and handcuffed to her toilet Sunday morning (those are metaphors. Please do not read anything kinky into these statements. Kinky is coming next). SHAME Katrina Dragon! SHAME!

Good thing she's a beloved doyenne (that word again); otherwise we might have to torment her

NOTE: It's all a matter of Perception
Despite the fact that one of the dragon heads was knocked off its boat 3 times on Saturday - following the ceremonial launch of the boats provided by Lamma's wonderful fishermen - we have decided that the 3rd decapitation was actually a good omen.

Gina-Dragon's accidental full-body embrace of the dragon head during Saturday's practice will henceforth be considered LUCKY; particularly since no harm came to the dragon's head.
It was a good omen. Repeat: a GOOD OMEN.

NOTE: Practice this weekend
This weekend's practice is at 4:30 on Saturday (be there at 4:20 please - and ready to line-up for the boats) and NOTE THIS: 10:30 on Sunday (please arrive at 10:20).

Finally, the Lamma Ladies always love to get flowers - especially flowers that fall into the correct colour scheme.

On the other hand - these flower images (sent to us from are a little - uh - erotic. That whole Georgia O'Keeffe genitalia thing has us concerned that people might get the wrong message.

Sure we've been inadvertently linked to bondage websites and spanking fetishists - and yes, a few of the ladies have been know to "lift, separate and reshape" each others bosoms, but that doesn't mean we're into freaky exposure and stuff. Not so early in the season anyway.

Now, for your reading pleasure, a little art history.

O'Keeffe, Georgia, 1887 - 1986, American (PINK) painter.
Immaculate, sculptural, organic forms painted in strong, clear colors predominate in her works. Living much of her life in New Mexico, O'Keeffe employed numerous Southwestern motifs. Her pristine abstract designs carry strong elements of sexual symbolism - especially her flower paintings, her most personal works. Using a photographic close-up technique, she revealed the exquisite recesses of calla lilies, orchids, and hollyhocks.

There will be no "exquisite recess revealing" this season. Repeat: THERE WILL BE NO EXQUISITE RECESS REVEALING THIS SEASON.

That is our official line, anyway.

Paddle 'til You Puke!

Our latest lovely poster

Official Lamma Ladies Colour Chart

The text to the poster above is found here. Indeed it is fascinating. And heroic. And Pink-tastic.
In fact, it's become such a hit with the Lamma Ladies and Gents that we've thrown open the doors (and thrown up our lunch) to suggestions for NEW team mottos.
From the top of TP Hill, Olipenny has suggested:

1) Pretty Pink Paddlers Practice... Puking Publicly!
2) Rosy Rowers Race… Retching Repeatedly!
3) Voracious Violet Vomiting Vixens… Victorious!

However, we disqualify number 3 as it propagates a bad colour-word.
So start sending your suggestions today! And please note: any scurrilous language(or general rudeness) will result in a beating. And don't think we're not techno-savvy enough to find you through your web-portal. We have ways of making you talk and cry - big, fat, pink-coloured tears.

Get Orgasmic!

(or is that 'organic'?)

I have NO idea who this chick is; however I do know that the Lamma Ladies are planning a power brunch following practice on February 19 at 1:30-2:00ish.

And how do you get to me a member of this most excellent party of salad-slurpers and tofu-burpers? GET THE HENCE to the Lamma Ladies yahoo group database website! by either clicking here, or going the long way round via the yahoo site here.

There will be veggie grub for everyone! Crazy carrot-ginger concoctions to strengthen your eye sight and quicken the blood (all the better to sneak up on the competition and hit them over the head with a paddle!).

So book now! We have 10 women already signed up and there are bound to be perverts lurking in the alleys now that this has gone public.

What will YOU be wearing Beast-Master???

Train, train, train your pink booties

Get ready. Now!
Paddle training for the 2006 season, every weekend, starting this Saturday. But be reminded: you shall refrain from lazy nonchalance on week days la!

Therefore, find here the first in a series of...

Pinktastic Tasks of the day:

If you live on Tai Peng Hill...
run up the hill carrying a 5l container of Bonaqua (Mineralised!) water. Easy.

If you live near the tennis court...
run home carrying a 5l bag of cat litter. Easy.

If you live in Poh Wah Yuen..
run home carrying as many rusty bikes you can pick up from the ferry pier at once. Easy.

If you don’t live on Lamma...
don’t bother going home, hit the gym instead!

Power. Precision. Passion.

Yours pinkly,

Blinging it for paddle FUNds

Bollywood Bling @ Island Bar
Lamma Dragons Fundraiser Night for the dragon boat season 2006.

* Saturday, 18th February 2006, from 8pm
* Island Bar (Main Street, Yung Shue Wan, Lamma Island)
* Dress: Bollywood, Pink
* Door: $20.

Bollywood & bhangra beats, spicy cocktail concoctions, dancing babes in sarees, Indian food, bindis, henna tattoos, bhangra boys dancing contest, much more...

Swing your sarees & come to Lamma Island for the pinkest party of the month!

Ferry Schedule - click here

Give your Alter Ego a Lift: Go Pink - Get Powerful

Power. Precision. Passion.

And the other three Ps.*

Together they define the essence of the Lamma Ladies Dragon Boat Team. We’re a 3-drinks minimum, 20-cylinder engine producing 2 horsepower: enough to launch a dragon boat from zero-to-eight mph in a staggering 20 minutes (Actual acceleration results may vary).

Our four speed** (wo)manual transmission with optional beast-master drummer (BMD) and waterlogged paddle shorts make every practice a soul-stirring, blister-raising experience.

Just two practices, hunched over the gunwales of our state-of-the-art, banana-yellow dragon boat is all it takes. The Lamma Ladies: You’ll never look back.

* “Out PINK, Out PADDLE, Out PARTY” is a registered trade mark of the Lamma Ladies. Try to steal our motto and we’ll kick your ass.

** Four speed: 1) faffing about; 2) strong and steady; 3) fast and powerful; 4) the PLF (paddle like f—k) spin-cycle.

The Lamma Ladies: Paddle ‘til you Puke